Friday, April 30, 2010

Oh, Hi Friday.

Want a good laugh?
This is what I have to do today:

My whole life, I knew I was going to be a stay at home mom.
Did I know I'd be staying home two months ahead of schedule?

In the words of Mr. C., "No ways."

On Wednesday, while I sat in my underwear and ate cereal for breakfast at 10 am, I thought "This has got to stop."

Then I kept eating my cereal, but I also started thinking.
I tried to remember the last time that I had nothing to do.
Meaning, I didn't have to be somewhere at a specific time of day for most of the day.

I decided school breaks like Thanksgiving and Christmas don't count since they're either filled with homework or family plans.
"Ah-ha!" I thought.
I went home for the entire month of July in 2008.
That counted, right?

Then I remembered that I traveled all over Missouri and Arkansas in those four weeks and also worked on an Independent Study class.
That didn't count, either.

I thought a little longer, still eating my cereal.
"Ah-ha!" I thought again.
Summer 2005, right after high school graduation.
I didn't do anything then, did I?

Then I remembered I had a job that I worked at every day for at least five or six hours if I didn't book myself longer double shifts.
(Book is a pun since I worked in a library. I'm funny, right?)

So I sat a little longer.
My cereal was getting soggy.
"Ah-ha!" I thought for the final time.
I know exactly the last time I had vast amounts of free time.
It was the first half of the summer after my freshman year of high school- the part of the summer before tennis started and before I started working.

I felt smug for a second after figuring it out.
Then I started panicking.
The last time I operated on my own time I was fifteen years old.
Not twenty-three.
Let's be honest, I probably spent my time hanging out with my mom or babysitting my brothers when I wasn't with my friends.
My mom lives twenty something hours away and my brothers can babysit themselves now.
And Mr. C. is always gone.
As I thought about this, I almost hyperventilated.

I set my soggy cereal down next to me as I had an epiphany.
It sure is a good thing I have the next eight to ten weeks to myself.
Otherwise, I'd be a basket case when Max got here.
If I worked up until his birth and then quit everything to stay home with him, the walls of our apartment would drive me crazy.
Now I have time to adjust as I tackle the million and one things I want to get done before Max gets here.

And there is a lot to do.
The difference is, now I can laugh at myself when I write "Watch Howl's Moving Castle" and "go on a walk" because I can actually watch a movie and go on a walk if I want to.
(And trust me, this pregnant body needs to be walked every day.)
Let's be honest, though, I'll never be someone who just watches a movie.
I have to keep my hands occupied.
Which is where the donuts and ho-ho's come in handy.