I kinda feel like I am at a loss for words.
The past couple days, I'm just not sure of what I want to say.
Maybe I'm just really tired (I am), but whatev.
Today in my (second) capstone course, my professor asked the class why people document their lives during exciting times. The class is focused on explorations and migrations in North America (again, don't doubt my nerdiness. I can outgeek the geekiest geek in most scenarios... Star Wars and Lord of the Rings trivia not included.) and the professor wanted to know why we thought explorers documented not just their findings, but their lives. I thought about raising my hand, but my arm was too tired to support it so I just listened to the responses.
In the end, he asked us why people don't document their average lives and one of my classmates said something along these lines, "Because who wants to write about cooking dinner and changing diapers?"
And the answer is: I do.
There have been times in my life that have been more dramatic and note-worthy than my life now. My single, independent life is over. I've already had my first baby, everyone in my family is healthy, I don't have any friendship drama, and life is so good that I often catch myself not worrying about anything at all, as if we're protected by a bubble of love, which we are. But it's true, I have four hugely thick journals documenting my post-high school life before Mr. C., full of both frustration and happiness. Back then, I was experiencing things for the first time and it was exciting, for lack of a better word. Both the good and the bad- it was exciting because it was unknown.
The last entry in those journals goes along the lines of this: "Today as we snuggled on the couch, my new boyfriend Andrew Chandler told me he would never hurt me and I believe him." And that's it. Despite the fact that he's the most important person in my life, Andrew doesn't make many appearances in my highly documented college journals.
Which is one of the reasons this blog was born.
I love that I've been able to write about the mundane happenings in our lives. Not only does it capture a more realistic view into our lives for our children to later read, but in so doing I've reflected on how we got together, our engagement, and our wedding day, moments that made me so happy and gave me such a feeling of peace that I was too elated to write anything about them at the time. Those days were wonderful, beautiful days, but they were just that- days. Just like today is a day and tomorrow will be one as well.
I love the mundane because it represents the fact that my life will forever be laced with Mr. C.'s. I love being a mother and I love being a wife. I love that I'm able to take care of my little family the best that I know and I love learning how to take care of them more. I love that day to day tasks represent the closeness that is possible within a family and I hope I never stop documenting small moments in our lives because if I don't document them now, I'll never be able to reflect on them later.
photo by her.