Thursday, February 24, 2011

That Time I Saw a Naked Man (Not Mr. C.)

I have had a really bad day.

Which is why, tonight, as I sit on my bed with sore legs and my baby sleeps in his crib with his butt sticking in the air, I'm going to tell you an awkward secret that still makes me blush and laugh at the same time.

There's no way to put it subtly, so here I go:

One night, between five years and five days ago, I sat at dinner with some of my friends. As the night wound down, I turned my head to better hear what someone was saying and when I turned my head, my gaze fell onto the cell phone in the pair of hands sitting next to me.

And staring at me on that cell phone was a picture of a naked man.
A man who was sitting at the same table as me.

And that, my friends, is one of my most embarrassing moments.
Right up with that time someone from church called around three pm and I told them that my parents were in the shower together because they were outta the house and I wasn't allowed to say we were home alone. Which wouldn't have been embarrassing except my brothers heard me and made fun of me for hours even though I was only eight and didn't know what being naked in the shower might maybe imply.

I am a lucky girl, though, because these are the kinda picture texts I get from Mr. C.:

ilu

Nope. You won't see a naked Mr. C. on my cell phone if you ever happen to glance at it...
Though I can't promise you won't see a naked Max!
(The fat wrinkles on his booty are the cutest.)