Sunday, March 13, 2011

Then and Now

March 1, 2009
(Two days before we decided to get hitched):

Then

March 13, 2011:

Now

Oh, Andrew Chandler.
He makes my heart go mushy and my world go round.

Sometimes, I talk with friends or read an article and get the feeling that people don't want real relationships. Instead of dedicating time to make things work, they often hold out and wait for a Prince Charming or Cinderella type to complete their world when the truth is that the kind of person they're holding out for doesn't exist outside of their head.

(Sorry, Mr. C... You are the cutest.)

I love Andrew and I love the life we have together, but marriage and love are both hard work. For us, falling in love was easy, getting married was even easier, and then real life hit us with an unexpected "thump!". No one is perfect and the only person who can complete your world is you. True, Mr. C. and Max make up most of my world, but if I'm not happy with myself, I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy (or if Andrew's not happy), then no one's happy.

The reality of marriage is that, when you're married, your life revolves completely around another person and that you have to put their needs in front of yours. In theory, this is wonderful because if you're taking care of your husband and your husband takes care of you, then everything balances, but sometimes people are stressed, depressed, and snappy. I don't think that marrying for the sake of being married will ever become a good idea, but I honestly believe that years of working together and loving each other, even in the worst of times, is what strengthens a marriage over time.

We've had hundreds of curve balls since we married and if someone had listed out the problems we would encounter, I probably would have laughed at them, both because a lot of them are dumb and because when we were engaged, I never thought that Andrew would be capable of hurting my feelings because he was, like, so dreamy. But guess what? Even dreamy, ridiculously nice husbands wake up on the wrong side of the bed some mornings.

So here is my confession: I would much rather have a dreamy, sometimes snappy, husband than someone who is perfect all the time. There is nothing real about a person who is perfect all the time and if there were, what would be the fun in that?

You're right, it would be boring and Mr. C.... you are anything but boring.
And that, my friend, is why I like (and love!) you.