Monday, May 30, 2011

Blogging is for FUN!

Alright.

Maxwell is with his grandparents and everyone else in the house is asleep, so I'm taking the down time to blog about something that has been bugging me for months: Blogging.

Has this been obvious?
It's been really obvious to me,

I blogged for years before starting this little slice of internet space, mainly through Xanga in high school but, after leaving home, it wasn't something I spent much time doing. Then, late one night, a few months before Andrew and I got married, we laid on our stomachs with my computer sitting in front of us as we hashed through possible URLs for our future site of wedded bliss.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: "andrewandlissa.blogspot.com?"
Mr. C.: "Eh..."
Me: "andrewandelisabeth.blogspot.com?"
Mr. C.: "Everyone has that one. And it's too many "Ands, anyway."
Me: "ridiculousnotesoflove.blogspot.com?"
Mr. C.: "welovecheesecakeandchickfila.blogspot.com?"
Me: "thelivesoflovers.blogspot.com?"
Mr. C.: "dailypicturesofourawesomemarriage.blogspot.com?"
Me: "No."
Mr. C.: "ithinkandrewisawesome.blogspot.com?"
Me: "I guess I think you're okay, but I don't know if I think you're that awesome."

And then we probably made out on the floor for thirty minutes and annoyed all of my roommates well past their boiling points. But I can't remember exactly what happened so I'll leave that up in the air.

Mr. C.: "I still want to have cheesecake and Chick Fil A at the reception."
Me: "What else do you want?"
Mr. C.: "Chocolate... chicago style hot dogs... cherries... maybe chalkboards?"
Me: "What?!"
Mr. C.: "Yeah. Cause "Ch" is for CHANDLER."
Me: "That's it!"
Mr. C.: "That's what?"
Me: "Our blog URL!"
Mr. C.: "Nice... totally my idea, by the way."

And that's how our little love blog started, more than two years ago.

Fun!

When I first started documenting our little life of ridiculousness, I loved it more than I loved Reese's peanut butter cups cooked in brownies. I only posted crappy photographs that we'd snapped while running around with our three year old point and shoot camera, even though most of them were fuzzy and blurry because we were so excited about life that we could not slow down. I wasn't even aware there was such a thing as life blogs because, aside from obsessively reading Color Me Katie and sometimes checking personal blogs my friends wrote, I never checked anything with the word "blogspot" on it.

Which also meant that I didn't give a rat's ass about what anyone thought about my posting. I'd tell stupid stories, post washed out photographs, scan dumb images, and write witty lines to Andrew, never wondering whether or not anyone else saw them. Then, sometime in the fall, we started picking up followers and, since my target audience wasn't anyone besides Andrew (and our families), it made me a little uncomfortable. But then I got used to it and loved it. Then it made me uncomfortable again. And back and forth and back and forth.

Not that I think I'm a big time blogger with a large following. We average between nine and ten thousand hits a month, not nine and ten thousand hits a day, and I don't do any advertising, but sometimes I feel lumped into other bloggers, thinking I need to post about this or post about that or post about something completely different than usual because everyone else is doing it.

I mean, I cook dinner most days. I even use colorful bowls and have a million different spices in a spice rack that I painted by hand. That means I could post recipes, right? I wear clothes every day and- get this- I even worked in fashion for a while, selling expensive shoes in a tiny boutique with a French couch. That means I could be a fashion blogger, right? I've been good friends with the thrift store since I was fifteen and, honestly, I think it's really funny when my baby farts so loud it scares him. That means I could be a mommy blogger, right? I am a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. That means I should post more about religion, right? I read a lot of books. I could start a book review blog, right? I've painted a lot of our furniture and made most of our decorations by hand. That means I could be a craft blogger, right?

I was making myself a crazy cat lady, minus the cats, plus the internet.

After reading so much content from other blogs, I felt overwhelmed and completely lost when it came to what I wanted to say about my life. So much that I wondered whether or not I should keep blogging because, quite truthfully, it started to make me really unhappy.

Which is not why I started blogging at all.
(And, yes, I am aware that I have said "Which" way too much for the last month, this post included.)

Why did I start blogging?
I started blogging because I think writing is fun. I think families are fun. I think photographs are fun and I think that it's fun, at the end of the day, to sit back and think about what we'd done since we'd woken up that morning and, most importantly, I think it is plain lovely to be able to reminisce about our memories with a visual guide, even if it's sometimes a poor visual guide. I have never blogged to garner a following or to feel really cool about myself. I'm not cool. I am really dorky and, truthfully, I love that about myself. I always have. And even if I didn't love that, I love words and I love images, which make up 98% of blogging. So, from my perspective, what's not to love about blogging?

Ferris Wheel

So what does that mean for now?
I'm going to keep blogging, even though I've been in a rut. I'm going to keep talking about the dreaminess that is Mr. C. and how my heart pounds faster when he walks in the room. I'm going to talk about how Max blathers constantly and how, some mornings, his diaper is so full to the brim that I have to change him on a towel and then throw the towel away. I'm going to post about how horrible it feels to sleep two hours during the night, wake up with five new zits, and have thirty hours of work to do in a five hour space. I'm going to post recipes and little videos when I feel like it. I'm going to post about photography and maybe I'll even post DIYs because I have more to say about those then you could ever guess. I'm going to write about our families and I'm going to write about love and I'm going to stop feeling bad about myself when someone defollows me and I'm going have fun with this blog instead of starting at an empty screen for twenty minutes and then pre-post five posts so I don't have to worry about it for a few days.

And you know what else?
I'm not going to proofread or censor this post.

Y'all are welcome to stay for as long as you'd like.

-----

And yes, we did have Chick Fil A cater our reception.
And Andrew's grooms' cake? It was straight out of the Cheesecake Factory and, as my mama told me the other day, cost more than the wedding cake. What can I say? My parents love him.