Friday, August 05, 2011

The Way I Do Things.

it's hot outside

Lately, I have been thinking about ways.
As in, there are so many ways to do things.

Like right now. It's 12:30 am and I'm laying on my stomach, typing up a storm, while I play footsie with my husband's sleeping feet. I guess I should be sleeping, too, but I have always been a night owl, something that gets worse when I work a lot or brainstorm a lot during the day. I have so many ideas. I have so many, many things I want to do, but I don't really want to do them the way everyone else is doing them.

Take blogging. I blog because I love blogging. I love hitting "publish post", clicking over to "view post" and thinking "awesome" because, magically, my words have been published all over the Internet. BUT. there are so many beautiful blogs out there. Blogs that are written with beautiful, heartfelt words. Blogs that are funny and quirky. Blogs that post once every week or two and, every time they post, their lives seem to be even dreamier than before- a feat that seemed completely unfathomable the last time you read their words. Blogs where the authors have worked their booties off to get where they are in the blogosphere. Blogs that are trainwrecks you just can't look away from. And blogs where you feel like the person writing behind the screen is one of your best friends, only you live 3,000 miles away from them and don't even know what their voice sounds like.

Take photography. I love photography. No. I adore photography in all forms and I love- absolutely love- seeing the progress I continually make. Here's a confession: I am a completely self taught photographer. Completely. I have never taken a class, been mentored, or sat down and had my portfolio given constructive criticism. And here's another confession: I was basically the last person in the world to switch over to digital photography (okay, not really, but you know what I mean). I didn't even invest in a point and shoot digital camera until the summer of 2006. And as far as professional equipment? You better believe I was taking senior portraits for three years with a film Canon Rebel (T2!), a camera I owned for five years, before I made the switch to digital (40d!) in 2009. And the more film photography's popularity soars? The less inclined I am to replace the battery in my film camera, particularly since I have multiple DSLR bodies that I am in love with.

Take mothering. Hi. My name is Lissa and I can be the most ridiculous helicopter mother in the world. Not the nation. The whole world. I am crazy about Max's health, safety, and happiness because I am crazy in love with him and crazy in love with being his mother, even when he's throwing a fit because I won't give him another chocolate chip cookie. I want him to have the most magical childhood any child anywhere has ever had. Big expectations, no? But on the other hand... Hi. My name is Lissa and, sometimes, I let my son eat his breakfast off the floor. And I don't make him wear shoes, even in public places, unless he'll be walking on hot pavement. And sometimes, when he cries, I fake cry with him until he laughs. And other times, I let him draw with crayons anywhere he likes because he's only one and he can't push a crayon too hard against a wall, right? (Wrong.)

Take Mr. C., the man who liked me enough to ask me to change my last name to his. I am crazy about him. He is crazy about me. We've been married two years and have a baby who runs away in libraries and tries to escape out of the pew at church, but I still want to crawl onto his lap in public places and, sometimes, I still do. We also often eat on the same side of the booth together and drive everyone else crazy since we're not starry-eyed-in-love fifteen-year-olds and our lovey dovey expressions (and mini arguments!) aren't cute anymore because we're not engaged. They're just sappy. But I sure do love me some sap, as long as it's not posted all over Facebook.

Take writing. A lot of writers (smartly) use their blogs as a platform for sharing their writing. Their daily posts are dreamy and beautiful. But me? Not so much. I love to write. Dare I say, I lurrrrve to write. I constantly brainstorm new stories and write them down whenever I get the chance. Sometimes that's three stories in one day. Other times? Three stories in three months. The way I write on this blog is exactly how I talk. The way I write in essays and novels and short stories? It's close, but it's different because, as all writers do, I lie when I write stories and, as I lie, I try to convey the truth in a way that truthfulness can never convey. Mmm... I might need to go open up a word document.

My whole point of this post is this: There are a million different ways to do things.
Sometimes I wish I were someone who could pick one thing and be in love with it for the rest of my life. But that's not me. There are so many things that I love and so many things that I want do and even though my way isn't the best for everyone, it's good for me.

I want to fall in love with everything I can and experience life- not just rush through it.
And being in love, I guess, is just my way of doing things.