Thursday, October 27, 2011

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Yesterday was a little boy's dream.
Scratch that.

Yesterday was my little boy's dream.

It started with waking up to take Mr. C. to work and ended with Maxwell throwing himself on the ground with sheer and total exhaustion, plus a belly full of candy to boot. He partied all day, ate cookies and candy (!!!), went to Target and even dressed up as a scarecrow who trunk or treated with his cousins.

Would I consider this childhood bliss at its finest?
Yes. Yes I would.

Halloween Party #1Halloween Party #1Target

And for me? The mother of a child living a life of absolute bliss? My yesterday was full of little realizations and memories. Dressing up my babe for his first real Halloween celebration (as last year he couldn't suck on suckers or scream for m&m's or even walk around with a little green pail with a black pumpkin face) felt so... momish. As did taking chili to a chili cook off and passing out candy and soothing my little scarecrow for ten minutes when he fell off the bed right before it was time to go. Which made me think of all of my Halloweens. The Halloween that I wore my purple dance costume with fairy wings and, while walking back to our house with my baby sister in the stroller, grinned from ear to ear because my Halloween was the best Halloween that ever was. The Halloween where I dressed up as a ghost and my mom painted my entire face white. The Halloweens where my mom made homemade pizza. The Halloween where I was woken up after Trick or Treating because my mom was on her way to the hospital to have my little brother. The Halloweens where my brothers were hobos and zombies and anything that gave them an excuse to have mom paint red blood on their faces.

And honestly?

Nearly every memory I remembered went back to my mom. The lady who grounded us, fed us, cried for us, loved us, and made us feel like we were real gems with real potential no matter what it was we wanted to do. The lady who still does all of these things (aside from grounding us... well, most of us). So, yesterday afternoon while I pulled Maxwell out of the car, I listened to him joyously say "leaf!" and watched his little shoulders come up around his ears with laughter as I tickled his fat little cheeks with a fallen leaf. I hugged him close and then I was hit, for the millionth time, with the realization that I am his only mother. No one, no matter what happens in my life or his life, will ever be Max's mother. It's just me. And so! Even though he was tired of face paint after I'd only finished five seconds of red cheeks, I held him in our sink and painted on those scarecrow cheeks. I painted his cheeks, kissed his sad little eyes when he fell down later, and spun him in circles dancing when we were done. We laughed together, I looked back at our toy-covered apartment, locked the door, and off we went! We went to get our main man and spent the rest of the night laughing with Mr. C. and Max's aunt, uncle and cousins. And, little as he is, I could feel the pure rush of Halloween excitement pulsing off of him as soon as he started seeing little dragons, fairies, and Darth Vaders. I looked at Mr. C., Mr. C. looked at me, and we both broke out into silly grins because we love our little boy and love showing him all the world has to offer him, candy pail and all.

Halloween Party #1Halloween Party #1Halloween Party #1

So, would I consider that motherhood bliss at its finest?
Yes. Yes I would.

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P.S. While I was on my chaotic blog break, I decided to take things back to the basics.
I'm going to start posting more like I did when we first got hitched and the posts will all be labeled the number of days we've been married since a photo a day was the whole reason we started this blog in the first place. I'll be re-separating (is that a word? no?) my photography blog from this blog so, if you're looking for my professional work, you can see a good portion of it here. So! If thinks look different, they're not. They're just reforming to how this all initially started.

And that's all I have to say about that!