This is Max today sporting his Wonder Woman tattoo right above his heart. Because, I mean, where else would you get a Wonder Woman tattoo? (Not pictured: Superman and Flash tattoos covering the front of his arms.)
Anyway, an hour or so after the photograph above was taken, we were driving to the grocery store and all of the sudden Max throws back his head and yells, "Shut Up!!!" at the very top of his lungs. Andrew and I are super mature parents so we did what super mature parents did and busted up into super hard laughter because Max's exclamation came out of absolutely nowhere- "Shut Up!" is not something we say at our house, even joking (I am actually pretty strict about this, along with all other swears and semi-swears... pseudo-swears, too). Then we looked at each other, swallowed those laughs, wiped at our eyes, and I turned in my seat and started explaining to Max that "Shut Up!" wasn't a kind word and that we should say things like, "Please be quiet." and "Can you please stop talking for a second?" and even "I'd like to talk now." We went over this several times and by the time we pulled up to the parking lot, Max was sitting in his carseat with his blue eyes set on me whispering "Be quiet - Be quiet - Be quiet" while we told him "Yes! That's a much nicer word!" (...and I am just now realizing as I am writing this that he wasn't repeating for repetition's sake but was probably telling me to be quiet instead.)
We head into the store and it's like any other trip to the store: Henry hits the front of the cart with his hands and blabbers and makes scrunchy faces and blows bubbles while laughing and tries to chew on everything within his reach and gives out rainbow smiles whenever he makes eye contact with anyone and Max sits in the back and charms fellow customers and workers by yelling "Hello!" whenever we walk past them and tries to eat all the food and stands up in the cart whenever we pause to pick up an item. So! All in all, it was a pretty normal grocery run, down to the very second where Maxwell lunged for the gum shouting "My gum!" and down to the very second where I told him that the gum had to stay in the store because he didn't ask politely.
Then, as soon as we got in the car, Max groaned out a groan that sounded like it had been bottling up inside of him his entire life and said, "I'm sooooo soooooo hungry. I'm so hungry I need Oreos!" and "Oreos! I want them!" and "No hamburgers or hot dogs for me! I want OREOS!" and just simply "OR-EEEEEEE-OOOOOOS!!". This kept going until we pulled into the parking lot of our apartment complex when he leaned as far forward as his car seat allowed him and hollered:
And that is the story of how Max said two non-nice words for the first time in a thirty minute period... or any period, for that matter.